Observations

• Art is what I do when I feel beyond help 
• Certain things get me overwhelmingly upset and it's impossible to reason out of, and I don't know what I want or need 
• One night can be infinite
• Fear has really impacted how I’ve approached learning in the past, and hence why I haven't retained as much as I would have liked
• I process the anxiety later by crying, releases tension
• Deep fears: being taken for granted / advantage of: I’ve allowed it too easily in the past and it was painful; I don’t want to see myself as: 1. not improved or grown from that, 2. that that’s how I’m always doomed to be treated because “maybe I’m just not good enough” or “good enough at asserting” that I deserve more
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• Life is all about being ~in tune with~ what the right choices to make moment to moment are. Choosing to, or sometimes just going with the flow to “receive” and recognize what’s happening to you by being present and trusting/not controlling the narrative all the time
• Knowing is always better
• I struggle with “what is the ‘healthiest’ way to handle this” vs being my “authentic self” and acting out of emotional reactions — which one will create a more beneficial connection and/or result from and for the other person (in the long run)?
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• The raddest thing is when people are capable of transforming and you can see it